A Word From Barack Obama To My Fellow Americans and World Citizens

Dear Fellow Americans and World Citizens:

Well, of course, just being elected is taking a toll on me. But, damn, I am fighting and have economic advisors, a great family, and am even going to get a new puppy for my two adorable daughters.

So let me be right on point. Bette Dillinger is a citizen of a planet called 143.1. She is part of the tapestry of diversity that this country needs, and Americans voted for. She has recounted her life story to me, and I respect that, even though I almost fell asleep in my coffee. Like I said kids, Obama has had a rough week, you know?

First, I ask you to check out Bette Dillinger's funky, fresh and thought provoking new album, "alieNation", which can be found in its entirety in every competent online store. Check it out! Michelle, ma belle, has copped three copies. One for me, one for her, and of course one for our daughters. She is a thoughtful mother and my best friend. My kids are right now grooving to these astoundingly profound songs.

Unfortunately, here, on a modest blog like Bette's, there are limitations, but I have always, like Bette, run into that. Like both Bette and I know, the world might want to box us into a corner because of who we are, but resident aliens like Bette who live in our land of freedom can now say "Yes, We Can." We need every female alien possible, boys and girls! Let's pass her a torch!

So what is your damn problem? Michelle doesn't like me to say stuff like that, but a person has to be a little forceful sometimes. Oh, bollocks, here is a reporter asking me AGAIN what kind of puppy I am going to get the family. Time for Obama to say "your mama" to that kind of BS. I have work to do.

So in conclusion, listen, enjoy, and most importantly show a little respect towards our alien visitor with a purchase of one song or the whole album, which is everywhere now. Do it! Now I gotta go read some more Abe Lincoln speeches.

With funkadelic pride in a new day,

President Barack Obama



(This message has no resemblance to the actual 44th President, who was too busy to meet with Bette. Even Joe "Windtunnel" Biden did not have the time. A wacky janitor named "Alec" played Obama for this letter, and also told me his love of Michelle Obama before he passed out in the dumpster behind The Gap.)